Currently I find myself in a rehab facility with a level 3 security level. That means guards and checkpoints everywhere, regular urine checks, lots of regulations concerning furlough, and sometimes a dog that comes sniffing the spacious room for drugs.
I am allowed to have a laptop and internet connection. I use it to talk to friends and relatives and browse the web. I’m trying to fix broken relationships, I sometimes have drug-induced psychotic episodes. Right now I haven’t used marihuana for almost a year. I did manage to get out twice for ketamine and alcohol use but got picked up by the police and was sanctioned.
Two years ago I got married but it’s not a healthy marriage and twice I became black-out drunk and violent. I even had to appear before a judge concerning the last incident and I’m on a 2 year probation period.
Recently I am devoting my time to prayer and often study the Bible. I want to turn my life around and I seek redemption. In the past I liked writing and photography so I figured I could become a freelance reporter like Spiderman and Superman. Both Peter Parker and Clark Kent have regular jobs, both work for a newspaper. I do have my heroes.
I read about the student protests in Paris and thought to myself that that would be a great opportunity to start my career. Get close and photograph rioters during the day and at night. It’s a bit risky though not like an active warzone such as Ukraine. I read about a brave woman called Martha Gellhorn who was a stowaway on a boat to report D-Day. I’m not sure if I have that kind of courage but in attempting to do great things we discover ourselves.
If all goes well this year in rehab is almost over. I am thinking of going to University in the summer for either Cultural Anthropology or History. Maybe just one year, to add some legiticimacy to my resume, build a network, learn new things, and become familiar with critical thinking and the scientific method. It could really propel my career as a freelance reporter so that established newspaper will want to cooperate.
I’ve never done any serious reporting, but I have written about my life and published some short stories via Facebook. My work (photography) has been acknowledged with an exposition in this city. There was some bubbly fake champagne. Concerning becoming a freelance reporter, I look at Hunter S Thompson who was familiar with drugs and laid the foundations for Gonzo-journalism. Written from a personal perspective with social critique and the use of sarcasm. There’s a little-known comic about a reporter called Spider Jerusalem which I read years ago. It was very dark, satirical, and contained lots of drug use. At the time I thoroughly enjoyed it.
Here, in this clinic I have plenty of time to ponder and reflect. I have to make choices concerning alcohol and drug use and be adamant about it. I made a leap of faith concerning my career as freelance reporter and started to read the news diligently. I browse the pages of newsoutlets like BBC and CNN to track global developments and stay up to date. I love the Dutch newspaper NRC and subscribed. I discovered the New York Times and subscribed to that as well.
That’s it! Just a quick update on where I’m at and a little insight into what I’m aiming for in the not-too-distant future.